Tag: parenting
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Stay Strong
I recall one of the last times we kept a kid home from school because they said they weren’t feeling well in the morning (no fever, but hard to quantify symptoms like sore throat). They then proceeded to spend the whole day running around acting perfectly normal with no further complaints.
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I’m Sure It’s Fine
While some of this dialog is made up, the pained scream followed by a shouted “I’m being gentle!” is a direct quote. As parents, we paused and listened for the sounds of crying or further screaming, but all was well.
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Majestically
Whenever I hear the word “majestic” I think of Prince John in Disney’s Robin Hood agreeing with his fortune telling: “Handsome, regal, majestic, ha ha. Lovable, yes, yes. Cuddly. Oh, that’s me to a T. It truly is.”
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Semantic Sticks
This was said with complete sincerity. Apparently “drumstick” doesn’t classify as a “stick” despite the seemingly obvious name clues.
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Side-line Hustle
This is why you have to be careful about making a reward match the thing you actually want.
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Out Of The Darkness
This is just how I roll keeping my streak going of awkward interactions with other parents.
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King of the Kart
We’ve all been there, being a little too competitive in a game against a child, right? …right?
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You’re Scaring Him
I mean, once you have kids, you’ll wonder why you waited so long! (Even if only because you’ll imagine it would have been easier to handle when you were younger and more energetic in general.)
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Persuasion 100
My kids have definitely figured out what kinds of things will motivate me.
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Parental Leave
Yeah, that’s right: I’m taking a day off for each time I went through labor. Every year. Forever.