Category: life
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There’s Always Room for Cake
The deal is supposed to be: I eat the cake alone, out of sight, like some sneaky kitchen gremlin hiding my prey, and then I don’t have to share with the rest of the family. Foolproof.
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Social Grilling
We are glad to have the opportunity to talk with other parents, but I definitely need a minute to psych myself up for it.
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Parade Policy
To be fair, the girl scouts also immediately forgot the “no throwing” candy policy, but they’re not…you know…baseball players.
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Romantic Economy
Having received a first-class upgrade before, I sympathize with how tough this decision must have been.
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The Bird
The words left my mouth and it hit me: “wait, that did not sound right…”
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You Call That a Mess?
Clearly we have different standards. It’s not a contest or anything, but — let’s just say that I am definitely winning on how much of a disaster my house is.
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Units of Patience
I mean, yeah, it’s nice that there’s music and stuff so I know they didn’t forget about me on hold.
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Ronald McDahlnald
One of my kids was also having trouble with this author’s name for her own book report (in a different class). We helped her remember it as “Rolled Doll” and when she practiced her presentation and had trouble I would mime like I was tossing something low to the ground (the imaginary doll) to help…
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Hashtag Numerology
Now I’m just waiting for all the automated phone messages to start telling me to enter a number “followed by a hashtag” because it will surely resonate better with the next generation than “pound sign.”
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Idle Chit-Chat
Certainly it was not the best night of sleep I’ve ever had, but at least I was able to remember some of these night-time kid pronouncements for comic purposes.